Today I’m teaming up with over 60 other lovely ladies to share a small piece of my story for something called Real Blogger Beauty. If you haven’t heard of it or read any of the stories yet, definitely check out Maya’s post with the whole scoop.
In this crazy blogging world there is often a ton of emphasis placed on outward appearance and an underlying challenge to always look and be “on point”. After all, we are bloggers, right? WRONG.
The truth is, we are all women who are enjoying things in life and sharing them with other people. Never did anyone define a blogger to be perfect/lusted after/put on a pedestal the way it has turned out. In fact, it was quite the opposite. When blogging first kind of started it was much messier and there were a lot more words used in most peoples’ posts. Now, if you don’t have the perfectly crafted Instagram photo or as many followers on Bloglovin it’s easy to start comparing yourself to others and feel insecure. It’s something that every single blogger I know has experienced (even the big ones, trust me).
A few years ago when I started this, let me tell you.. it was awkward. Never would I ever have thought it was normal to take pictures of myself and post them on the internet. We had a game on my old team at work where if you lost something that week, the punishment was that you would be googled in our team meeting in front of everyone and we’d look at funny pictures we could find of them all over the internet. I made sure that never happened :). I was mortified for a bunch of people I had just met to discover, dang.. there are a LOT of pictures out there of this girl.. but more so I was strangely afraid of everyone finding the #1 thing that pops up when you google my name… my testimony.
I grew up in Texas where everyone believes in 3 main things: God, George Bush and cold beer. What many people don’t know is that I have a pretty interesting story of how I came to be. I’ll save the highlights for you to watch in the video, but long story short I was adopted when I was a baby from South Korea and although it was the best thing that ever happened to me, it was definitely something I struggled with at times when I was younger. I thought “pretty” was defined by a very narrow set of physical traits and never really thought I would ever be deemed as attractive as others because I didn’t fit that mold. That’s a complete lie, but I believed it for a long time. I tore my ACL twice basically and had back to back knee surgeries in college and during the first one I dated a guy who turned out to have a racist family. It was an all time low for my self esteem and came at a time when I thought I had really conquered that insecurity. As do most things, I healed with time and a lot of grace. I shot that I Am Second video 5 years ago and it’s really crazy to me how much has changed since then.
In the past 5 years, God really opened my eyes to how truly unique He made me and I’ve been embracing it 100%. Some of that I have to thank to a person I dated for a long time after the guy from the video who was the first who really thought it was incredible that I was the way that I was. Some of that I have to attribute just to growing up and forcing myself out of my comfort zone.
Beauty may be one word, but it has endless definitions and what I’ve finally concluded is that the only one you need to care about is what you define it as for yourself.
The video is something that I am really shy about sharing with new people I meet for some reason, despite it (like my blog) being completely public knowledge. The whole reason I did it in the first place was similar to why I began this blog. If my story inspires one person or reminds one young girl or boy on a day that they’re sad that someone else has been where they are and everything turned out ok – then it was worth it (and it definitely has been). It’s kind of crazy to receive messages from people around the world saying your story encouraged them, and I’m hoping that’s what #RealBloggerBeauty will do as well.
If you haven’t heard of I Am Second, you should definitely check out some of the other videos. If you’re a football fan you may enjoy Jason Witten, Colt McCoy or Sam Bradford; in honor of the Wold Cup you should watch Brazilian legend Kaka’s video; Mike Fisher‘s for hockey fans; Sean Lowe for Bachelorette lovers; and last but not least.. a dear friend of mine’s – Lauren Scruggs. Her story is awe inspiring and it’s been such an incredible honor to see how God has bounced her spirit back into life.. and she’s newly engaged!
A huge thanks to Maya for putting this together! For those of you in Chicago we’ll be hosting a #RealBloggerBeauty project at Rannali’s on June 30th from 6:30 – 9 mixing and mingling – hope to see you there!